The idea of surrogacy was planted in my heart at a very young age, even before the birth of my own child. I always thought of it as a ‘bucket list’ idea. I wanted to do it. However, I had no idea when or how. I had my keeper very early in life, much earlier than most. He brought me so much joy, happiness, and gave me a reason to be the best person I could be.
It was only a few short years after his birth that he became ill, and the thought of loosing him was absolutely devastating. A few years after that I had experienced my own pregnancy loss. This period of my late teens was life changing. I knew the pain of losing a child and I was going to do all I could to make sure another mother never felt that heartache.
A year later I sent Angela a message, put together a profile and I was ready to scratch ‘Surrogacy’ off my bucket list.
I was a sent a few profiles, but the last one stuck out. I was waiting for her to email me, checking my phone consistently but nothing ever came my way. So, I emailed her. We spent 10 days emailing back and fourth, multiple times a day asking every question we could think of. It was extremely important that I found someone I connected with. We agreed to be open and honest and to always share our thoughts and feelings, good or bad.
Sherry was not what I thought I wanted in a match, but she is exactly what I needed. She was the exact opposite. If you are in the matching stage, KEEP AN OPEN MIND!
Our journey together was natural, flawless and happened in 3 days less than a year. We finally met face to face on the eve of our transfer. We had transfer shirts, socks and bracelets. I had drank all the pomegranate juice in my home town and ate my weight in pineapple. We were ready! 4 days post transfer, if you held the HPT in the right light, at the right angle…there was the faintest second line. Naturally, as surrogates tend to do I tested every day until it was detected on a digital and naturally as IP’s try to do, she tried to stay calm, cool and collected.
We were pregnant.
The morning sickness kicked in quickly and stuck around for a long time, 31 weeks! This pregnancy was a walk. Everything went as expected so this part of our story is boring, a good boring. I would get so excited and hardly sleep the night before IM would visit to attend a doctors appointment. The look she had when she would see my belly grow or see her baby on a monitor during an ultrasound is what I looked forward to every time. The morning sickness, exhaustion and swollen feet could never outweigh the feelings I felt watching her fill with joy and excitement.
362 days later, a mother gained a daughter.
We opted for a planned C- Section as it was what was best for us and our journey. I never wanted my IM to worry about missing the birth of her daughter.
I was on the operating table waiting for IM. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I couldn’t believe what I was about to do, at that moment it became real. So, naturally to keep myself from bawling my eyes out, we made jokes. We joked with the doctors and nurses. We made our best educated guess on what exactly they were doing at that point and time during the delivery. I can recall the doctor saying “She doesn’t want to come out.. ready.. 1..2..3..”. That is when we heard the tiniest baby whimper. I could not take my eye of IM, her face, her body language, her tears…those are the reasons I did this. Those are the reasons, I decided while laying on an operating table not yet stitched up that I would absolutely be doing this again in the future. I spent the next two days loving this tiny human I grew inside me. We didn’t have expectations for after her birth, we didn’t have a set time frame I would spend with her nor a time frame to say goodbye. We wanted it to be natural, not because it was expected or in our legal agreement. Etc. The time IM allowed me to spend with her was amazing. It was perfect. My family was able to meet the baby, and after nearly a year of hearing hilarious stories, they were able to meet my IM. This is something I will forever cherish, our families shifted. Our family has grown.
The most common questions I’ve been asked.
Why did you did you choose Surrogacy?
I wanted to help. I wanted to help a mother add to her family. It takes a village.
Was it hard to ‘give the baby up’?
I did not ‘give the baby up’ I returned her to her mother, back into the living hands she belongs in. She was never mine, I carried her, I cared for her I loved her as if she was my own and every once in a while I even pissed her off.
Did you cry? Was it sad?
Absolutely I cried, I cried just writing this out. This is a story that I hope will always make me emotional. However, sadness doesn’t play a part in this story.
Would you do it again?
Yes, absolutely in a heartbeat.
Do I still have contact?
Yes, my relationship with IM has not changed. We chat regularly, and I absolutely love that.
11 weeks later, I am still amazed. I wouldn’t change a thing