Each time I begin the process of chatting and going through applications for a new surrogate, I always wonder to myself – will this new woman be as special as the last. And every single time, she is just as grand and amazing as the woman before her.
The best part of my job is building a community of women who far surpass any expectations I could have. Every single one of them posses the same qualities – kindness, generosity, a spirit for motherhood, a dynamic way of looking at the world and how as humans we are designed to give back. They all have that innate ability to show emotion and create relationships with complete strangers in an effort to be a part of something bigger than themselves.
It isn’t easy knowing that out of every ten applications, I will likely bring forward only two women into the program. It might be due to medical issues, or lifestyle conflicts or even just someone who isn’t able to give the kind of commitment it requires to become a surrogate. But almost immediately I know the women who will stand out amongst the others and shine. They have a sense of confidence and a keen understanding for what it takes to sacrifice time with their family.
There is this stigma still in the media that women are somehow coerced or found in a ditch and paid to offer up their bodies to complete strangers. It’s the most ridiculous notion. This is Canada. Women don’t do anything they don’t want to do. We are free to choose. We aren’t victims. The kind of women who offer to grow a baby for someone are the kind of women who stand up at a rally and fight for the rights of minorities. They are the kind of women who don’t back down when they know it’s wrong. They are true to themselves and they will power through challenges in their lives without giving up. They are fighters. I know – I am one.
I have been so fortunate to call this community of women my friends. They are all over Canada and I’ve been able to travel to Manitoba most recently to attend the wedding of one amazing surrogate. There I got to meet her family and also her wonderful IM who traveled all the way from Australia. I’ve held the hand of an egg donor as she did her retrieval. I’ve watched embryos being transferred into the wombs of women with smiles on their face, positivity glowing around them. It isn’t your average job I have – it’s far better.
Aside from this community I’ve built this past year through my own business, I have to recognize the community I was a part of when I was a surrogate myself. It was those women who supported me during my ups and downs in my own journeys. We banded together and supported each other through drama, hormones, laughter, joy, and tears. It was them who inspired me to be true in my own journey and ultimately begin my business helping others like them. They offered up suggestions and knowledge and love in a way that couldn’t compare. Even now I can always turn to them when I need advice or want fresh thoughts and different perspective. Because doing what I do, isn’t about me. It is always about a community of women helping others. Nothing I can do in this lifetime as a career will ever compare to the joy and satisfaction I’ve received in my first year operating Canadian Surrogacy Community.
Thank you to the women who have rallied behind me in my effort to create something better for women to follow us. Let’s make it about communities of support and love always.