Somehow things always seem to come full circle… On July 6th I was invited to witness Frank and Norm unite in marriage. I had never been to a gay wedding before and wasn’t really sure what to expect, but as it turns out, it wasn’t any different than other weddings I had been to. Two people who love each other, stood in front of witnesses and took vows (albeit vows that made me giggle). They stood in front of witnesses and confirmed that they would always love each other and take care of each other. Then we all ate a fabulous meal and danced the night away. Pretty straight-forward stuff; except it wasn’t really. There was something else that happened that day – a family began. I have to admit that I was nervous about meeting so many of Frank and Norm’s family and friends at one time. Thankfully I knew many of them already and they made us feel quite relaxed (Insert: Sara and Darrell’s shenanigans). But for some reason I felt this incredible need to hide under the table for fear that I wouldn’t live up to someone’s expectations. It was silly to think that people would whisper in a corner about the choice they made in a surrogate, but we all have our moments of feeling inadequate. It was such a casual day that when my husband and I first arrived at the Elmhurst Inn, we saw people walking around everywhere just chatting and laughing. We escaped to our room and got ready and made our way downstairs to immediately bump into Norm’s parents and brother Brian who I had yet to meet. Pressure on – but not really. They were wonderful and sweet! Of course everyone who looked my way knew I was the pregnant girl carrying Frank and Norm’s baby. I think I might have smoothed my dress too many times, or checked my makeup and hair too often to count, but the feeling that I was on a first date just wouldn’t disappear! Everyone I met was gracious and loving, but I admit I have never been felt up so much on a first date before. Belly rubs and hugs and kisses and… something else… something behind it all. I can only describe it as awe… like I was doing something beyond fathoming. To me, carrying this baby was a big commitment, but I had carried four of my own and this was just something I could do, so I did it. But in a crowd of thankful friends and family I really felt how this gift was going to bless so many more people than I first anticipated. Rene and I were at the coolest table in the joint and had a fabulous time getting to know Frank and Norm’s neighbours, enjoying time with Emily, Andrea and little Tobin, and soaking in the circle of people who are all a part of bringing this baby into Frank and Norm’s life – Nicole (egg donor from Montreal), Sara (OB who has been my amazing doctor since we hit 12 weeks) and her hilarious hubby Darrell, who is simply the best entertainment around. Never mind, that the meal was a heavenly delicious kind of tribute. I made Frank promise me he wouldn’t put me on a pedestal and make me blush, so instead he made Norm do it! During speeches (which were short and sweet) Norm just about made the tears flow. It took a great deal of effort to choke back my love for them both in that moment. He thanked Nicole, myself and my husband Rene (who sometimes gets lost in the hype of it all). But when Norm (who has always professed to have no tear ducts) started to slow his words, I felt the ground fall beneath us and an entire room of warmth embrace us, holding us up; holding up their baby boy. What a proud moment to be part of such gratitude and love! Rene and I have been thanked so many times that we honestly feel a bit exhausted from all the attention. This was something different… being thanked on that day, the day they united officially, an understanding that with their vows promised to each other they were finally bringing their family full circle. And now all they needed was their baby boy in their arms. And in about 11 weeks I will give them just that! So how does one top being part of such a monumental event? You don’t… I just keep growing this baby and watching the excitement stir in Frank and Norm. Since the wedding I have been honoured to help with the gift registry for their baby showers. What fun that was walking around Babies R Us throwing my own gifts in the cart for this baby boy, because I just couldn’t help myself being surrounded by all the tiny baby clothes, blankets and frills! We have hit the third trimester mark and at 29 weeks I am starting to actually feel pregnant (can you imagine), but there is no time to slow down in my house! I have four kids who remind me every day how much they love what I am doing. They cuddle with my tummy, they rub baby boy and whisper sweet goodnights to him. Just the other day Madelyn was resting her head on my belly when the baby decided to kick her right in the cheek. Her expression was priceless! The kids constantly ask what the baby is doing and if they can talk to him. If Frank and Norm didn’t already know this baby was in good hands, they can rest assure that my children will never let baby boy feel lonely in there! Madelyn asked me the other day, “Mommy, can I just pretend to be a big sister when the baby comes out?” I worried that perhaps she was confused, so I said, “Madelyn, you understand that the baby isn’t coming home with Mommy, right?” And just like that she says, “Yes, I know, but we’ll get to see him afterwards and I have so many things to show Frank and Norm about how to take care of baby. So can I just pretend I am his big sister for awhile?” Maybe it is the hormones and maybe it is just pride in the young girl Madelyn has become, but my eyes welled up and I just hugged her tightly and whispered how special she was. Knowing the kind of love that this baby will be born into affirms every day how my gut instincts didn’t lead me astray when I picked Frank and Norm. Everyone in their lives are waiting patiently for this baby boy to arrive so they can show him the love the world has to offer. And I know in the midst of all those loving people, my kids will stand just as tall, ready to show this baby boy that right from a tiny seed they loved him with all their hearts. And as the one blessed to grow this baby, I will always hold a special place for him in my heart also. And for his Daddies… thank you for allowing our family to be part of your family. Thank you for blessing us with so much hope for the future. Being part of your wedding showed us how things always come full circle and you are both ready to be a real family… in about 11 weeks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *